A
note from Mrs. Shurtleff and Mr. Kurt:
What
kind of player do you want your child to be?
It’s a hard
question for some to answer honestly—but, would you rather your child be the
player on the team that scores all of the goals, or the player who lends a hand
to a fallen player, recognizes a great play by a member of the opposing team,
and genuinely looks each player in the eyes when they say “good game” during
the high five line up at the end of a game? Of course, we want our children to
be both of these things, but unfortunately we are seeing more and more students
that feel the stress of winning and being a ‘star’ on their team more than
leaving feeling good about working hard, being a part of a team, and learning
how to succeed and fail in a safe environment—that is their own.
Aside from
providing opportunities for your child to learn the skills needed for team
sports and developing a healthy relationship with movement, games, and
exercise, one of the most important goals in the Physical Education department
at St. Paul’s is to teach sportsmanship skills. Bill Severns stresses the
importance of sportsmanship (life skills through sports) and at the end of the
game what your child is really taking away from a 90 minute soccer game.
What kind of sport parent do you
want to be?
We recently read an article that
references an informal survey that lasted three decades initiated by two former long-time coaches who, over time, became staunch advocates for
the player, for the adolescent, for the child. Bruce
E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC are devoted to helping
adults become supportive sport parents. Speaking at colleges, high schools and
youth leagues to more than a million athletes, coaches and parents in the last
12 years, they did a study where college athletes were asked what their parents
said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a
ballgame.
Their overwhelming
response: "I love to watch you play."
At the end of the game it does not help, and kids don’t want to
hear “Why did you swing at that high pitch when we talked about laying
off it?", "Stay focused even when you are on the
bench”, "You didn’t hustle back to your position on defense”, "You would have won if the
ref would have called that obvious foul”, "Your coach didn't have
the best team on the field when it mattered most.”
“Let
your child bring the game to you if he/she want to,” Brown says.
So what’s the takeaway
for parents?
"Sports is one of the
few places in a child's life where a parent can say, 'This is your
thing,’ ” Miller says. "Athletics is one of the best ways for young
people to take risks and deal with failure because the consequences aren’t
fatal, they aren’t permanent. We’re talking about a game. So they usually don’t
want or need a parent to rescue them when something goes wrong."
"Once you as a
parent are assured the team is a safe environment, release your child to the
coach and to the game. That way all successes are theirs, all failures are
theirs."
And discussion on the
ride home can be about a song on the radio or where to stop for a bite to eat.
By the time you pull into the driveway, the relationship ought to have
transformed from keenly interested spectator and athlete back to parent and
child:
"We loved watching
you play. … Now, how about that homework?"
PLEASE, come be a part
of this fun and interactive discussion with Bill Severns. Even if you haven’t had a
chance to read the book, we still encourage you to come and be a part of the
discussion and learn how to better
support your active, athletic, sport-loving child!
Sincerely,
Catherine Shurtleff and Randy Kurt
(St. Paul’s Physical
Education Department)
Reference: Henson, Steve. (2012).
What makes a nightmare sport parent—and what makes a great one. The Post
Game. Retrieved from http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/more-family-fun/201202/what-makes-nightmare-sports-parent
SUPPORT YOUR CHILD ATHLETE
“Any parent
who wants to enjoy watching (or coaching) their kids play a sport
or perform in another organized kids activity instead of stressing
should not miss the community discussion on October 1st with Bill
Severns. Bill has over 25 years of youth coaching experience and
therefore, he has a unique ability to help parents see the big picture when it
comes to their kids. My wife Amy gave me Bill’s first two books Keepers
of the Sandlot and Sandlot Strategies for Father’s Day a few years
ago, and I read them both in less than a week. The messages in those
books meant so much to me that I contacted Bill immediately to let him know
that I would always be grateful that he took the time to put these guiding
principles down on paper for the rest of us. Bill has become a good
friend, and I haven’t been able to stop talking about his books and his
messages to parents and coaches because I think every parent and coach needs to
hear about it even if in some cases it doesn’t seem to resonate with
them. Needless to say, Bill has had a huge impact on my approach to the
“sandlot years” with my own children and the players on the teams I
coach, as well as my efforts to preserve those sandlot years as they all grow
up.”
John Moore
– Father To: Wilson (8), Brooks (6), Anna Jane (3) – Toddler Student at St.
Paul’s
Join
us on Tuesday,
October 1st at 6:00 PM
for a SPEDS community discussion with Bill Severns, coach and author of Keepers
of the Sandlot, a book providing insight and perspective about what our
children truly seek through their participation in team sports.
Bill played
professional baseball for six years in the Brewers organization, but his true
passion came from the twenty-three years he spent coaching youth baseball.
Through Bill’s life experiences, he has valuable insights and perspectives to
share with our community and we strongly encourage all coaches and parents of
children who play sports to attend. There is no charge for this event but
please RSVP by contacting Linda van Thullenar at Lvan@speds.org. Copies of Keepers of
the Sandlot and the Sandlot Strategy are
available for check out from the Early Childhood office. If you would like more
information about Bill or the books please visit: http://billseverns.com.
